Yes, a pause in reality is actually what the doctor ordered for me. Several days away from deadlines, deadbeats, obligations, and irritation has given me a renewed sense of energy... and fear. Truth is...Truth don't wanna go home. I think this holiday break broke me from having to feel that I need to adhere to the insane, mundane, yet erratic work/personal life that is (no longer filled with too little time for anything "personal") expanding into other areas of my life. Ah, to be able to live from one Vh1 Soul segment to another with no worries...
So, today is my last full day away from the workhouse and other pressing obligations both directly and indirectly concerning my job. I made a pledge to myself that I would do nothing related to work while I way away, with the inclusion of email checking (which is extremely hard since they come to my phone), but I can proudly say that I have accomplished just that...until last night. Lying in bed with nothing particular in mind, I settled on deadlines and To-Do lists not To-Done. I almost had a panic attack as I mentally threatened my myself to think of something else or else...It was a close one, kiddies, but it gave me a peek into what my life has become. Something must be done. Pronto....
In other news, I'm getting the urge to once again create: write, sing, paint, draw, become deeply involved with myself once again. It seems that I have detached that part of myself from myself the more hectic my life has become. Now, I'm almost screaming from creative outlet (I actually found myself freestyling on the phone to "him" at 3:00am during the holidays...and I still got it)! I like this bravado my creativity has to push through no matter how hard I fight against it. I need it. It saves me...
Until next time...
A verbal and visual cigarette break from my hectic life and schedule. We all take vacations to get away from work and home, but I sometimes need to get away from the "me" I've become. This is my outlet. Enjoy!
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