Baby, I'm Back...but soooo tired!

Yes!  It was another eventful week since the last time I logged on.  My out of town friends have come and gone (tear!) as well as the big conference I've been excited about.  I must tell you, friends, that though I have gained the opportunity to network with so many great people in this exciting field of advocacy, I must tell you...I'm tired as hell.  It seems that though I had this great room with a wonderful view, great food, and great atmosphere, I mismanaged my hours somewhere.    So, yeah.  I have been trying to get back on track, but I'm here...dedicated to this blog, even though I'm already behind on my previously stated obligations for this blog site.  (Sigh) I know.

The Award for the Best Apology Goes To...

*Sniffles* I'm...I'm sorry for the delay in my posts. *Doing the Kobe Bryant "shaking head solemnly while biting my lips"* I have fallen victim to the slave of everyday labor and have experienced burnout on top of the stress of being a superhero.  Life is hard, kiddies, and there are no alcohol-dispensing machines on street corners.  Onward and Upward, though.  I have some balls in the air right now and I am in charge of juggling.  I have a conference coming up this week, two friends in town, and I'm on the job hunt! I have incomplete projects to work on, rest to catch up on, and books to read without any sign of relief coming soon.  Pray for me, world.  I will be sure to update you.

Alvin Ailey Painting

My laptop was acting bizarre and couldn't load my other image.  Here goes (and this DOES count as my second post)!

Going Hard in the Paint

No long post tonight, kiddies.  I'm working on an art project for a friend's birthday.  Painting is something I got into earlier this year (something I do from time to time: picking up exciting yet short-term hobbies) after shopping for some artwork for my former office space.  After walking around Hobby Lobby for almost an hour, I became exhausted with the cliched (though very nice for those who like it, HL) artworks and exclaimed,"Hey, I can do this myself!" And so instead of spending the money on paintings, I instead purchased painting supplies.

My first inspiration came after re-evaluating the "Rosie the Riveter" poster and wondering why there wasn't a black "Rosie?" It was a nagging question that later led me to the Library of Congress in search of a photograph of an African-American "Rosie." There she was, as big as day: My strong, fashionable, and seemingly hardworking Rosie-baby!  I had to capture it in a painting (with blue jumpsuit and red bandana, priceless!)



After that came a short series of paintings inspired by the Alvin Ailey Dancers.  I have always thought of them as agile and fearless with a sense of grace and pride that has to be poured into them by God (a lil dramatic, I know, but I promise it's the truth!) This collection became known as The Alvin Ailey "Be Ambitious" Series ("Paint the Sky", "Bend Horizons", "Expand Your Boundaries", and "Cradle the Sun"). 




Ok, so I kinda lied when I said it wasn't gonna be a long post...I tried.  Goodnight!

Committed vs. Commit Me!

This Saturday was an inactively active one for me.  I spent the better part of the wee hours of the morning catching up on previous seasons of "Sons of Anarchy" via the internet and later attended a domestic violence awareness outreach program.  Here comes the inactively active part: instead of my usual outreach presentation-y hat that I often wear, I had the opportunity to sit in the audience and experience a program from the other side of the podium.  She was a survivor who took us through her tumultous relationship with an ex-husband that nearly left her for dead. It was freaky to sit in the audience and  be so knowledgable about a subject and not be allowed to elaborate.  So I pretty much found myself almost transforming into my sorority's Amen Corner.  I kept hearing all these "Umm, umm, umm"s and "That's right"s and I didn't realize it was me until I caught myself finishing the speaker's sentences in a mumbling whisper (LOL). I'm too involved with my work.  

After that my schedule was free and I spent the rest of the day at home watching my favorite squirrel (Rusty) run back and forth on the fence from the window in my living room.  I also spent a little time with my sister via telephone as she DEMANDED that I download a Kindle app and a book to read this minute (As if I don't have enough books that I feel guilty about buying and never reading).  I gotta admit though, I've been hitting the Kindle app pretty hard today.  I think its the newness of it all. Once again, my sister was right.

So I'm setting up this scenario for you to really get to the meat of my post.  I didn't really think of my day as revolving around a theme until I got a visit from a good friend.  We quickly glossed over the status of her relationship (knowing that it could go either way day by day) and it wasn't until after she left that I sat down and realized, "Damn, today was not good day to discuss marital relationships!"  Anyone who knows me knows that though I wholeheartedly believe in that "true-blue-knock-your-socks-off" kind of love, I don't feel that it can only be attained through holy matrimony.   In other words, marriage ain't necessarily on the top of my To-Do list for the future. I've always wanted a house and kids, just no Mr. "Make-Me-Change-My-Last-Name" to go with it. Why, you ask? Simple: I'm afraid of the downside.

What happens when the other shoe drops?  He no longer finds my quirks (trust, I have PLENTY of those) cute, or I wake up and realize that I have wasted my life, time, and patience on a fool who can't even remember to put the toilet seat down or is too embarassed to buy tampons for me while he's at the store?  What if we deny each other room for growth and become resentful of the fact that neither of us is who we were at the beginning of the marriage?  What if I become dependent on having him around (another scary thought for me because I find myself mostly uncomfortable in a relationship when comfortable routines are formed.)?  Yes, this also happens to unmarried couples, but not being married has always given me a sense of control in my past relationships.  I could always say: "Thank God I'm not married to that fool!" 

TOO MUCH BAGGAGE, honey.  Yes, I'm probably certifiable, but at the end of the day, the final score is Holy Matrimony= Zip and Me= 2. I just have to work out where to get the kids from!

Be Blessed,

S. Truth

Long Time Coming

Apparently, this blog (or something like it) has been a work in progress for the past couple of years.  Funny thing is, I had no idea. After listening to a great friend for the umpteenth time tell me, "I'm telling you, you need a blog. Nah, for real!" I finally gave it a second thought.  So here we are, my great psychologist friend and I with a great idea. 
"Let's have a Creativity Weekend," she exclaimed as the workday was winding down.
"Yeah," I said excited.
"We can eat pizza," she gave in a satisfying whisper.
"Yeah," I said excited.
"And work on our blogs," she added.
"Yee-ahh," I said with slow excitement.

It's not that I'm not interested in it; it's that I have a long-standing history of running from any type of self-motivated literary commitment. Whether it's a short story or a grocery list, I find it hard to put my final stamp of approval on a writing project.  I spend so much time allowing these great stories and ideas to live and grow and blossom in my brain that I'm afraid they won't survive in an unprotected environment (its kinda like what they say will happen to humans who try to live on the moon without proper air supply). 

This is not to say that I have not made great strides to break this habit.  I have actually written a modest number of plays, short stories, poems, and have even taken classes on it where teachers have encouraged me to try my hand at publishing.  My answer, however, is always the same "No thanks, I was just seeing if I could actually do it."  Bottom Line: I can only muster up enough courage when I make it a challenge (sad, but true) which pisses me off because I'm always wondering how great I could be if I would actually take the time to exercise my writing muscle. 

Sooo...

Here I am again: Another challenge, another short-lived writing workout.  Unless...

So I'm making a pledge to devote two days a week to my post.  Starting today, right now.

Wish me luck!